Everything Changes – Part II
This will be my last post from Maine.
In November of 2011 I embarked on a journey of “rediscovery”. I knew that I needed to make a change. For me that change meant moving to a place I had loved to visit for the previous 20 + years – Mount Desert Island and Acadia National Park. My hope was that in moving here, I would blast myself out of the rut of malaise and depression I had fallen into; and that I would find again some joy in living. My plan was to live here for a year and then re-evaluate . One year later, I find myself feeling much better emotionally and in better physical shape thanks to 800 miles of hiking. I’ve learned many things during this year, but here a few key ones:
- Time does not always “heal all wounds”; sometimes you need to implement drastic change in order to feel better.
- I create my own suffering with my desires (which in my case was wanting husband alive and my old life).
- Nature and living near a large body of water (for me), hold tremendous healing power. Hiking in all weather and all conditions (even when I didn’t FEEL like it), always paid off by providing insights, taking me out of a funk, giving me ideas for writing, or just making me feel good about myself by getting outside and doing something.
- I am not the same person that I was before my husband died. Living here has taught me to accept that fact, recognize what changes have occurred within myself, and understand how to integrate them with “my old self”, while moving forward.
So what is next for this “Acadian Soul”? Due to a decline in my father’s health and my mother’s role as caregiver I feel it is important for me to be geographically closer to them. So to that end I have rented a cottage near the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland. This will enable me to visit my parents on a regular basis, but still keep me living by the water in a quiet, secluded place well suited to writing, walking, and continued healing.
This blog will continue, although perhaps with fewer posts as my focus will shift to writing a book of essays about loss, learning from loss, and reconnection with life. My lease on the cottage is for six months. What happens then? I don’t know, but I DO know I will approach it with a sense of adventure! I hope you will continue to join me on that path and I thank you for reading this blog and supporting me each step of the way!!